We left to go to Linfield College where we met up with a friend of our sons and had burgers. Yes, a big time celebration. Your first lesson....life goes on.
You might have cancer, but your kids have needs, your husband, your partner, even the dog need things from you that do not include self pity. They need you do be YOU and not Cancer You. It is nice to remember that you are you with cancer, not cancer is you. Come back to that often...you will need to get out of that valley of despair when it crops up.
I will cut to the chase about appointments with surgeons, ct scans, bone scans, mris, blood work and echo cardiology tests and hit the real question. Had it spread? My great news...none found. Well yes there is that common little benign bone tumor in my shoulder which I am sure is a result of the Missy Franklin prowess I show in the pool, but it ain't part of the big Breast Cancer fight. I am so so lucky. Tip two take two friends with you for long testing days. They make you laugh and forget the 7 million tests you are taking.
Chemo has started with a new port (delightfully added by one of my former ticket agents...ain't life small) and some 5 hours of my husband and I trying to absorb all the if this happens, do that, keep the paperwork together and pay attention. Another life lesson...marry an attorney. God gave me mine and he is organized, thorough, and keeps us rolling. I had trouble remembering things before this occurred, but without all the skills he possess both in a practical sense and emotional one, we would be screwed!
Side effects have included headaches, very tired, omg the bone pain from the shots to boost white blood cell count and a little like the flu, but to date, it has been so easy for me. Another blessing! I am still cooking, driving, going to limited meetings, but my lights are out at 8. I worry about our other family member in California because all things considered it is harder when you aren't part of the team. College is hard enough and it offers another layer of complexity for him as he tackles school, being 19 and oh yeah...a mom with breast cancer.
I am getting my hair cut short short today. I expect to be in a wig (not a blue one Melissa sorry) in the coming week and thanks to two friends propping me up, I made it through the scarf process as well. The numerous texts, cards. flowers cheer me up daily. For those of you that think a note of hi doesn't help, don't kid yourself. Love is warm inside and joins up with those new cells to do battle! Keep them coming.
Round 2 is Thursday. Pray for good white blood cell counts and the same easy side effects. I will post after that to update you on round 2. Emily is my editor and chief since as Paula would say, I learned how to type on a Royal manual typewriter, so we need to work around her schedule as well!
In the meantime, pray to your god of choice for healing, strength and humor to make it thru this journey. My God listens to all prayers so bring them on! To my family on all sides, thanks for propping us all up. It has helped having prayer warriors, breast cancer survivors, doctors, psychotherapists, bankers, etc etc etc to call on day and night. And to my many many friends THANKS.......you rock!