Blog Archives

She ain't no Jagger

4/25/2015

Mick Jagger has always been one of my favs. First, who can wear skinny jeans like that in their 70s? I love how he struts his little butt across the stage, pouting lips and all, as he sings to us about satisfaction, getting off my cloud or 19th nervous breakdown. He thinks and possibly is invincible.
When the gorillas left, I assumed I had returned to my Jaggeresque persona of too cool for school etc. Nothing getting this babe down.
Unfortunately, my gorillas went to the airport to pick up their Aunt Mabels and Uncle Freds to bring them to my house. It has been a grueling, uncomfortable and humbling week at Casa Swaya.

I have learned that I need to do a better job of staying ahead of my nausea and to plan better for each day. For those of you close to me, you know I am not much of a planner...more fly by the seat of my pants. Teaching this old dog to plan is harder than the damn chemo! I am getting a handle on it, but I wish I had done this about 40 years ago! Now I sound like my teenagers!

I have celebrated the end of my double dose of A and C chemo with wonderful results. My MRI this past Thursday revealed that my lymph nodes appeared normal (the best sign as this area is not one to be messed with), one tumor reduced by 30% and the other by 50%! This is after 4 doses of the Adriamycin and Cytoxan. I leave them next week to start my weekly chemo of Taxol for 12 consecutive weeks. Dr. Kaplan is overjoyed from my latest reports and we are ahead of schedule. How lucky am I to have this report?? You just can't beat the prayers, chemo and Kaplan cocktail.

We shall see what the spring holds. I am optimistic that this journey will continue to get better and I will learn how to regulate myself better. Austin Ralph (Melissa, who gave me cancer, son) made a tape of me doing sexy back. I know it looks just like Jagger in drag! It is my inspiration to propel myself into the Jumpin Jack Flash of the future!

Fingers and toes crossed

Jill

7 Comments

April 17th, 2015

4/17/2015

0 Comments

They do exist!!!

4/17/2015

7 Comments

Several years ago there was an ad for American Tourister luggage about how great their bags were to stand up to the "rowdy airline baggage handlers" who in this ad was played by a huge gorilla that jumped up and down on the bag in front of a baggage cart. I can assure you at TWA we never hired gorillas to be ramp service employees and for the most part they treated your luggage with care....unless you were a jackass at the ticket counter. Now that just changed the playing field. A little call down with the tag number and you might notice a few dinks and scratches, but hey...who was the jerk? And that was lucky....the bag could have been incorrectly tagged to China instead of Phoenix! But Gorillas, never unless you were flying on America! (Sorry Marilyn).

I found the Gorillas last night. They have not disappeared. They have gone to work for the producers of chemo and they came out with a vengeance yesterday for me. It was as if they knew that this was my last nasty dose of Adriamycin and Cytoxan and they wanted it to go out with a bang. Kathy Umlauf picked me up from chemo after Cindy Baker and I caught up on breaks, boys and upcoming seniors. Kathy had my water and we charged out just chatting it up and I was feeling fine. I made my soup, talked with my Mom and then the Gorillas showed up. I was nauseated (from Chemo really) and thought that every bone was broken. I would sleep for 10 minutes and then up for 20 praying that there would be no projectiles to accompany my feeling. Prayers did work, but I could only think of those poor people that this is their reality and realize how lucky I have been. My night was yucky but a forecast for 68 and sun with my boy coming home from college a completed freshman are making for a good day that started with an early morning snuggle from my 17 daughter and big hugs from Mattie that I kept up all night!

Next on the calendar is a MRI of my breasts next week to see how much the tumors have shrunk. The following week I move into my weekly doses of chemo which is Taxol which should not have the nausea component to the extent the other two did...the energy will continue to be affected but that is on me to learn how to manage. I had higher white blood cell counts this time, but lower red and a huge jump in my platelet count. The lower red is affecting my energy, but that could be LONDON too! And some good news to me (not shared by all) down 10 pounds....watch out Melissa!

I am looking forward to an easier routine, the start of summer and everyone home for a while. I will see a lot of you at the Beach Club as we know that we are still the Queen (although bald) and King of it. Sun improves everything! I got a stronger tape for my Ringo Starr wig so pick up the hugs at the Q!

Happy Friday!

Jill

7 Comments

253 and London?????

4/11/2015

8 Comments

When I first started seeing Dr. Kaplan, I asked him if I could take a long planned family (minus the college dude) vacation to London. He said sure...was I thinking of August? When I said April 1, he looked at me like I was the April fool. April of this year??? When I said yes, he said, we will just see how you handle the chemo. I think he had no idea how head strong I am (he needs to talk more to Matt). After the first round of chemo, with good numbers, I brought it up again. After I assured him that I was not talking about London, Texas or London, Ontario, he said if I handled round 2 like round one he would let me do it. So, I pranced in on round 3 with great numbers and announced I was packed and leaving that night.
He reminded me it would be hard and to take a break each day.

I was sailing high when Cindy Baker picked me up and brought me home where Matt had brought Joe, the Simple Plumber to change our sump pump that had died the night before and had our house smelling like the castles we would seeing.We had great timing as he left just as Alex the driver showed up to take us to the flight. We had bought these tickets last summer and for some lucky reason decided to deplete our miles and go business class one way. The seats make out into beds and that helped sway Dr. K in the right direction!

We boarded and were off. The flight was lovely but everytime I laid my head down to sleep, my wig moved forward. I had a Wookie version of an eye mask going on the flight and as a result, sleep was not forthcoming for me. Emily and Matt had a wonderful time on the flight and that alone made the whole trip worthwhile!

We rented a flat in Nottinghill and lived like locals for the 8 days. It was a great location (around the block from the Portobello Market) and a five minute walk depending on my day to the tube. Granny days (or TATA if you are Lebanese) you would see Matt tippy toeing up the block with me a good ten minutes and other days, it was a mild strut. Starbucks was up the block so Matt could go ahead and order for our arrival! Matt and I are serious travelers. We want to do it all. We wore out Emily! I saw all the plays we had tickets for, and got to at least one activity a day like a museum or castle! Emily and Matt would deposit me and take off for the afternoons. On the rare days that I did both, I looked like Attila the Hun by dark so they were few and far between! I got an A plus. AND DR. K was right. There were times I thought what the hell am I doing?

Hopefully, this never comes up in your life, but if it does be led as am I, by my friend John. I remember when he was first diagnosed with cancer, he told me that he realized he was spending so much time thinking about his bucket list, that he wasn't living it, he was just letting it slip by. That is really why I wanted to make this trip. I wanted to watch Emily see an international city for the first time, I wanted to see London once again with Matt and talk about all the other times we had come (those airline people!) and relive the stories of our past. And just like John, I wanted to show that my life goes on despite of its nasty new friend. It is not my ending.

We are home now and I can write this without publishing we will be gone for the next 8 days if you you want to stop by and shop at our house! I am exhausted, back to my lovely naps, and thankful to be looking this week at the last dose of AC!! As I go to rest, I want to plan another trip, with Nick in tow, looking forward to many more years of happiness in the Swaya household. It just gets better!

Later!

Jill

8 Comments

The new normal???

4/1/2015

9 Comments

So here we are on Chemo 3. What a ride today! Back up a bit to the past week, where I swam 10 of 13 days and seemed to handle the chemo better. I am still learning that I can't do everything in one day and that is frustrating but tolerable...unless you are poor Matt that comes home on those days to a deer in the headlights bald head and all!

I forget that not everyone is obsessed with my cancer like I am. At dinner the other night I told Matt that I could not feel my larger tumor. I took his hand and he tried looking for it (well that is what he said). He wasn't having luck finding it or having fun when someone across the table cleared her throat and said, "Really guys, I am sitting here!" I blamed it on chemo brain and left Matt hanging! Emily is ready for Nick's return.

Today, Dr. Kaplan could not find it either. This means it has shrunk considerably after two sessions so we are on cloud 9 over our good fortune. Prayers are really working here so keep them up! My red and white blood cell counts are normal and my platelet count is evening off after an initial big drop. Dr. K thinks I should be the poster child for chemo! Kinda of the Gerber baby in reverse!

I am getting use to the wig although quit hugging me at QFC. I walk around the store adjusting myself like some first baseman for the Mariners! The other day I put it on wrong and the crown of my head was in the back. It is a pain, but so much better that my sporty grey buzz on a pink head!

One more of these big boy chemos, a week off, and then off to the weekly one. We discussed surgery and reconstruction today and while it might seem overwhelming, it is so awesome to have that option and cure!!

Loving my cards, my visits, my chats, my gifts, but most of all loving you! Keep on rolling!

Jill

9 Comments

She ain't no Jagger

April 17th, 2015

They do exist!!!

253 and London?????

The new normal???

Jill
Swaya

Archives

Categories

She ain't no Jagger

April 17th, 2015

They do exist!!!

253 and London?????

The new normal???

JillSwaya

Archives

Categories

Jill
Swaya