Thu, 31 Aug 2023 04:08:42 -0700WeeblyThu, 12 Nov 2020 08:00:00 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/5-is-the-happiest-number-you-will-ever-hear​ I think that was a deviation of a Three Dog Night ditty, but given my memory it could have been Herman Hermits or maybe the 4 Tops. And  yes it was 1 and lonely but that doesn’t work for my story! Today is the wonder day for us Breast Cancer girls....my five years is done. My last radiology treatment was 5 years ago...cancer free. It’s also my brother in law Ed’s 60th birthday. What a lovely sound...cancer free and Ed hitting 60!

So much as happened during this time. Emily graduated from high school and College and began her master’s program. Nicolas graduated from college and is gainfully employed. Matt, after 21 years, retired from the coffee company and until COVID we were always traveling somewhere. We will return to that life again once the world gets going again. Until that time, we have enjoyed the backyard, some great wines and the abundance of our Northwest summer sun. We are sadly beginning to hunker down to our gray days of fall and winter! 

Dr. K has retired to research only and I have tried desperately to remind him that one could consider me as a research animal, but he seems to think not! I have threatened to march over and have my check ups in the backyard, but that might be more than Susan (his wife) will allow! Change is hard! My last check up is coming and alas it will be with a new Doctor.

I did finish Dr. Paige’s part of reconstruction before COVID hit, but had to  lay off Tattoo completion until Governor Inslee gave it the green light. It’s on now but I haven’t gotten my perky pals in their for their makeup! It will come my sweets! Patience!

I do reflect back on that time and with, yes, fondness. I have never felt so loved by so many, so grateful for the goodness in others and thankful I was helped to survive this journey with humor and a positive attitude because of all of you. Lucky, Lucky me. Now, I must admit I was never able to take on Melissa in the pool in a two piece, but I do have hair that isn’t kinky anymore and have done away with the rockets called prostheses that kept me afloat. 

I think the UPS driver retired or got the hell off Mercer Island. I haven’t seen all those people that I had set up for therapy visits from the Beach Club so I hope that means they rebounded ok. 

To all my buddies currently fighting the fight, keep it up. I always thought I would never get to see that 5 years, but here I am better than ever. The time does pass quickly. You got this! 

This is it. I’m hanging up my keyboard, buying some SPF 100 and looking for the sun somewhere! Having this journal kept me grounded and able to express my fears, my tears and my joys. I know tho, there is some sand with my name on it, a perfect martini and my cute husband, waiting to write some new life chapters for many many years to come! 

Stay safe!🥰]]>Sat, 02 Nov 2019 07:00:00 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/it-aint-over-til-the-fat-lady-singsAs we say Back home, long time no see. I am hoping this finds everyone in good spirits unless you are an Astros fan or a Miami dolphin. I’ll start this out by updating the past couple of years since we last spoke!

Nick has graduated from LMU and is working in Seattle (Bellevue exactly) and not living at home which makes both of us happy. We see him a lot as his kitchen doesn’t work as well as mine. He is dating a nice young lady and learning about being patient until you are made CEO.

Emily is a senior now at Duquesne university scheduled to graduate in May. As of this writing, she has been accepted into graduate school where she hopes to become a special education teacher. Her plan is to move back to the left coast. She too is dating a nice young man here and is learning how to balance all of life’s challenges.

Matt retired in June 2018 after 21 years at Starbucks. He dabbles a bit in this and that but his primary job is Chief Leisure Officer at Jill Swaya travel. He has put together fabulous bucket list adventures for us and we are not slowing down. Smookie went to heaven in December 2018 and is now harassing my sweet Mom who passed in September 2018. 

That brings us to me. Next week will be the end of four and start of 5 years cancer free. Woo hoo. To celebrate, I finally had my last reconstruction to add my little always erect nipples. I’m still bandaged up for one more week, but there is no pain. It will be spring before I can sport tattoos of colors to complete the look. I’m thinking maybe a neon psychedelic color to celebrate my 50 year high school reunion which I missed to reconstruction. Bottom line, I’m done. No more surgeries and that feels good to say. In a short year, check up free. 

What have I learned? In any tragedy there can be humor. We all make choices. I chose to try to keep my self buoyed by the funny little things that can happen. I still see the poor therapy ridden ups driver and smile. The little girl who thought I was a man, Is running around the Beach club now chasing boys! Purple hair is probably not a good color for you mom to see! 
I have learned that my family, friends and even people that barely know you, keep your ship righted with support and love. That’s a feeling that makes this whole experience ok.
So I’m signing off for good now. I encourage anyone who needs a friend to chat with about breast cancer to reach out...send your friends to me too. I’m paying it back big time!  The life you saved was mine. God bless you.]]>Sat, 28 Jan 2017 20:38:20 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/whatcha-lookin-atAs I put away the nativity set for Christmas, I paused to see my handiwork under the tree. The donkey and ox were in a face off looking like two prize fighters all in front of their audience, the baby Jesus. The wise men were only two in number on one side of the set as the third was being played by Joseph who wanted to get some of the fine gifts! On the other side was the Sheppard who only wanted to watch the sheep in front of him, the missing wise man who was anxiously guarding his gift and poor Mary was relegated to the back like she had nothing to do with whole thing. It was probably good that I broke up the two tough guys at the front of the stage before they tore down the tree and everything around them. I share this story with you as it is indicative of my mobility after my first reconstruction surgery. When I decorated the tree, I was about two weeks post surgery and unable to bend over. The nativity scene was created by my dropping strategically the pieces around the crèche. The ornaments on my tree this year were centered in the middle. Very few balls made it to the top or bottom of the tree.And my Christmas gifts reflected the amount of drugs I was taking when they were ordered. Matt got a pair of gym shorts from me that made him look like Lebron James on the court! But as I like to say, I now have bosoms!

Lets back up a bit from last we talked. Emily graduated from high school and we celebrated with Val, Steven and my mother Barbara from out of town. After getting Emily packed off to Pittsburg to Duquesne University, we traveled to New York where Matt was part of the convocation for Brooklyn Law School. We came home to pack up Nick's car and off he went to LMU for his junior year. A few weeks later we were on a flight_to Rome, Florence, Tuscany and Venice. It was a post cancer treatment, pre reconstruction, Matt's 60th birthday and Jill's Medicare bday. We got to spend time with our good friend Alison Gilligan and her son Penn in Florence and were joined by friends Patrick and Susie for Tuscany. It was a wonderful trip.

We returned home and it was off to Tyler for Jill and Washington DC for Matt. We met up in Pittsburg and got to see Emily for the first time in 2 months. We came home and prepared for my first of three reconstruction surgeries.

I thought I knew everything about the surgery from my discussions with my plastic surgeon and Melissa (who is looking hot!) who had the same procedure done two years earlier. As the song goes tho, there's nothing like the real thing baby! OMG. It was a lot more painful than I had thought and more debilitating. I needed help getting around. Lucky for me, Anne and Allison, my sisters, were on hand to take care of me after my surgery. They also threw out more things that I knew I had. It looked like a 95 year old woman had died and had lived alone only with cats! My house lost 20 pounds! I wish it worked that way on your body!

The surgery is long (about 13 hours for me) and your incision on the abdomen runs hip to hip. I had what is known as the diep where they take your fat from the belly button down and form two new breasts that are attached with blood vessels and even a nerve or two right where the bad girl and her best friend were located. Now if you know me or have seen me recently, I had enough material as Dr. Paige called it to replicate both of the former occupants. It doesn't really work out that way (thank God) and Matt was disappointed with the lack of double Fs on my chest wall. I thought the symmetry was great and they are a good starting size. As painful as the lower area can be, there is nothing on the chest area.  It felt and looked weird to me to have bosoms again, but I am glad that I did it. 

My incision was open until last week. I had my surgery on November 14 so it has been a long haul. It has been complicated by the fact that I got blood clots in my left leg and that slowed down my healing process. As they struggle to get my blood counts normal again (it is not right as of this writing although diagnosed on December 23), I am finally seeing some light at the end of my tunnel. I am hopeful that the pool has my name on it!

I am back at the plastic surgeon on Feb 1 and we will start planning when phase two will occur. It is shorter, about 3 hours, done in the operating room at his office and requires no hospital stay. We will Mattify to an extent these breasts to be a little larger and they will take care of my E>T> ears left over from the mastectomy.  He also has to shape the lower abdomen area, but not the pain associated with the first go round.  I am thinking maybe June or July. 

So, you are now up to date. Matt wondered why after a year, I decided to dust off this piece. I think that it is because I have entered another area of this gift that keeps on giving. It is helpful to me to share that journey and pause to think about it as well. And of course, it is great to chat lit up...we all know that is one of my strong points! 

I will be back when I have a good plan moving forward. Until that time, cheer for the Falcons, still try to fire Darrell Bevel, get Seattle a NHL and NBA team and slow down on the executive orders (censored for content!).
​]]>Thu, 10 Dec 2015 04:16:59 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/long-winters-napI thought Christmas was to be a holiday celebrated with Jimmy Stewart scenes of snow and blowing wind. Someone needs to clue in the great Northwest. Nine rivers are on flood watch and I awoke this morning to a thunder and lightening show that resembled one of Nick"s concerts over in the Gorge. Geez....get those Arks ready. I think God had his fingers crossed behind his back the last time!
 
I am officially done! Today was my appointment with Dr. Morris, the radiology oncologist. She checked my recovering skin and told me it look great (well by Stage 3 standards!). She released me to swim full time and to remember that it took 9 months to get into this shape, so recovery isn't over night. Since my lights are out normally by 8 these days, that didn't come as a big shock.
 
Last week I met with Dr. Paige, the plastic surgeon. He was happy about my weight loss. I didn't have the heart to remind him that 20 weeks of a chemo diet, coupled with the little floatation removal and tanning bed made for a decreased appetite! I guess I will reluctantly be forced to continue working on shoring up this body for the Melissa/Jill face off. I can't have the reconstruction surgery until after November 2016, so I will probably skip it until January 2017 when Nick and Emily are back at college. Wow......that sounds scarey! Dr. Paige was happy to see that I still had enough material to work with....in my mind, half of Seattle could use some of my "material". I told him I wasn't interested in replacing the old girls with the same size model...I was ready to downsize. He told me that the second surgery (you have about 3) would focus on refining and reducing if necessary. Now I ask you...do you think my husband is going to want me to reduce what gets loaded on first? Its like having a twice baked potato and someone comes and scrapes the top off. Ugh.
 
Dr. K will now be my only doctor that I see every 3 months for blood work and check ups. I had my first one last week as well. It is an adjustment not going to see him weekly or being so involved in getting well. It was nerve wracking to let go. Allison, my sister, used to have a blanket that she called night night. I think she gave it up when she married. I will have to figure out what will be a daily replacement for Hank Kaplan!
 
So, like the poem says, I am settling down and putting Jots from Jill to bed for a long winter's nap. My hair even looks like a kerchief so I am all set. We will be back. I will update in May or June the results of my mapping for replacement surgery and then busy my self with getting two off to college. Hopefully a European trip lingers out there for us and after the holidays, it is back to penning about drains, bosoms and the joys of being rebuilt.
 
Thank you for following me, being with me, praying for me, writing to me, cooking for me, hugging me, running errands for me, buying me gifts and always holding me safe. I could not have done this journey without you. I reconnected with old friends, made some new ones and discovered how lucky and blessed I am.
 
Whatever you celebrate, may it be happy. I am a Christmas girl and love the joy of the season. Just like the hope in that manger, I found it in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you friends.
 
Much love,
 
Jill
]]>Thu, 12 Nov 2015 21:20:58 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/hallelujah-and-amenI grew up a Methodist. The wildest thing we ever did was sit in church and mentally switch all the hats on the women to create new outfits. My brother Chris put his shoelaces over his ears and got in trouble for that, but that was as wild as we got to be at Marvin. Now Sheri Lou and Richard, my cousins, grew up in Crockett and they were Baptists. They did lots of singing, had Sunday picnics and the best....Revivals. There is nothing better than a good Southern Revival to get you right in life! There were tents, traveling preachers full of hellfire and brimstone warnings and the most special part was going to the front at the end to dedicate your life. Now my Aunt Jane married a Baptist, so she wasn't full of the Baptist spirit. She would only allow me to make that walk the first night assuring me that God did not forget that I had been there before and I didn't need to do it the entire week. Right before we began singing Lamb of God I come (the bridal march of revivals!) the preacher would end with a give me a Hallelujah and Amen. Joyfully everyone gave those two words to him. So whatever you are doing right now, stop and give me a Hallelujah and Amen....the battle is over and I am cancer free! Wow it sounds great to say that!

This has been such a journey. That fateful day, February 17 to today, November 12, has been filled with twists and turns, highs and lows but always support as I trudged down the path to rid myself of this horrible disease. How lucky I was to have great doctors to treat me, great family and friends to comfort and care for me and children who put their lives on hold to help me hold on to mine. I had two generals...Dr. Kaplan, my oncologist, who now will oversee my progress for the next five years and my Mattie, who has never faltered, never shied away from the struggle and held me up when I felt I just couldn't go on.
 
You always learn something new during these times. I have learned that life is worth fighting for especially when you have the support and love of so many. The hugs in the store, the visits during chemo, the meals that would rival a five star establishment, cards in my mailbox, flowers at the door, books, coloring books, Island treats, glassy babies, Little Shirleys and all the calls. Passing on the blog to others has brought me some new friends as they continue in their fights. Prayers to them for their journeys and may they find the same pot of gold at the end of their rainbow.
 

It will take a few more weeks to get my skin calmed down, energy back and ready to move forward. My poor Mother has fallen broken her leg in three places and is stuck in a wheelchair at home with round the clock care. I am hopeful to get to Tyler before Christmas to help her out a little bit. She can also brush my Daddy Bob curls and it continues to grow! I am looking forward to being back in the pool by the first of the year and Watch out Melissa, as me and my waterproof missiles  will be in mastectomy suits ready to take you on!
 

I meet with Dr. Kaplan on Dec 2 for my first three month follow up. I am also meeting with Dr. Paige to discuss the plan for reconstruction. I will let you know the status of those visits before I put Jots From Jill down for a little rest. I will be looking at pictures of how voluptuous I want to be in my next phase!!
 

In the meantime, thank you so so much for all the love and support. This Thanksgiving, my blessings will be good health and good friends.
 

Happy Turkey Day
 

 
Jill


]]>Mon, 26 Oct 2015 21:20:17 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/the-color-redI recently read a quote about the color red. It represents love, life, shame, blood, rage and the color of my chest. I mean nice bright red on a spot that is a mass of wrinkles, lines and those cute E.T. ears! Why this surprises me is priceless. On my honeymoon, we spent two weeks on the beaches of Greece (calm down...we were airline people!) and did nothing but relax....for five days when Jill with her 100 block suntan lotion, big hat and umbrella came down with sun poisoning. What ever possessed me to think I could withstand radiation rays without color! At bedtime I look like a greased E.T. with two types of creams and my favorite, roll on castor oil. As I told Matt tho, if you have to have a reaction to something...thank God is it radiation and not chemo. My "fatigue" level is increasing, but with rain, my bedroom is a comfy place!!
 
Today is day 20 of radiation. I finish up on November 12 and have my eyes fixed on the finish line. I have a follow up appointment on Dec 2 with Dr. K and also another appointment with the plastic surgeon, Dr. Paige, to set up the plan for reconstruction. There will be a long down period and I will be glad to focus on a truly  normal life and not the new normal that has been my home since last February.
 
My hair continues to grow and my eyelashes are nearly all in as well. I think I am evolving to a woman again (sorry Tim) although, my hair is wispy on the sides and makes me look like Daddy Bob (my maternal grandfather). He was a real card that liked to check the weather as he told my grandmother, Mimama, constantly during the weekend days. We never figured out why she couldn't see that there was a bottle of Wild Turkey outside that was reserved for his meteorological jaunts! Hell, I might be Daddy Bob now!
 
So as I move to Red Robin to Red Lobster or parked at QFC as the new Redbox, keep me in your prayers. Just a few more weeks and then, we can all exhale.
 
Hugs, kisses and may your candy bags be full of great treats!
 
Jill


]]>Mon, 12 Oct 2015 18:54:10 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/snow-white-tim-bauman-jillFirst, an apology to Tim Bauman. For those of you that know him, meet me his new twin sister.  Tim is about my age (we both grew up with Kent State!) and as my hair has come back in, it looks like Tims! Now please understand that on him, I think it looks sweet, but on me....I look old. I do have some black hair in the mix(a little Matt says) and I am sporting the buzz cut look. So with no bosom, buzz hair....hell I might be Tim!!
 
Radiation has been both ok and ugh!  For the first two weeks, I did the twilight thing of six to seven. The people are great, the experience was pleasant compared to chemo, but omg, every day gets old quickly. I started my daytime microwave (as I call it) visits and it is more crowded and lively, but same nice people. Once a week we do xrays (in case I am not radioactive enough) and the whole treatment takes about 15 minutes. It takes longer to drive to Swedish and undress and repeat the process home than I spend in the room being treated. I have about 4 and a half weeks left of my 5 day a week activity, but then I can kick back and wait for about a year to start reconstruction. I don't know if the car and I will know what to do without Swedish visits!
 
I had my port for chemo removed (hooray!) the Monday that I started radiation. Sweet Melinda LeClercq took me and when they found out I had a driver, I swear they gave me more juice! My surgical nurse was once again my former agent Terry. I was so glad he got to check out the cute ET look I have going on! I am glad that chemo is in my rear view mirror and we won't be going back that way!
 
My radiology oncologist is pleased with how I am doing. My skin is a little red and my energy level isn't great, but I am religious about using the lotion and putting in 30 minutes of walking. Smookie likes this part!
 
Thanks for your prayers for my Mom. She must be doing well as she is complaining about not being allowed to drink champagne with her friends on Sunday after church. When I suggested she ask the doctor if she could have one glass, she informed me she didn't want just one glass. I know where I get it now!
 
Next week I see Dr. K for my oncology visits. I doubt I will have anything to report other than his dry wit and funny personality. I will try to post anything humorous that he shares! Until then, keep your positive mojo going for me and thanks for checking in!
 

 
Hugs, kisses and please fire Darrell Bevell
 

 
Jill
]]>Sat, 26 Sep 2015 17:15:06 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/blow-those-whistles-baywatchwe-might-have-a-floaterWhere to begin????? I left you going to get a tattooed for my radiation. Much to my brother- in- law Ed's dismay, it was not the state of Texas, a rainbow flag or even George Clooney, but four small dots that serve as guides. One is smack dab in the middle of my little mock cleavage thank you very much!  Painless and then the wait for the set up to begin.
 
I went with Maryellen and Cindy to buy my prosthesis, new adjusted bras and even some waterproof ones for swimming. I do have to admit that I like the feel of the prosthesis as many of you can attest since I make everyone I see feel them! Weird, but I like to share.
 
I have been swimming my butt off as I have just a few more days before radiation starts. Once it begins, I am out of the water until December. Even tho I have not bought a mastectomy bathing suit, I thought I would be able to use my "forms" in a bathing suit that has a small pocket inside each cup. Sure enough, they fit and I pranced out to the pool thinking I looked like the hottie that I am. Unfortunately, there is no one in the pool to appreciate my beauty, but Chris (the aquatics director and girls high school swim coach) is in the office I have to walk thru, so he gets to see the new me. I got my leg and arm exercises taken care of and it was on to lap swim. I had done about 200 yards, when i see this missile fly past my face and go the bottom of the pool. It is clear and looks familiar to me. As I lift an arm out, I realize that the missile is my prosthesis! OMG!!! Where is it? I put on an exhibition of lifesaving techniques and would have made Patrick Swayze jealous as I dive left and right frantically looking for a clear mass of silicone. I find it and struggle to get it up. These puppies weigh a total of 8 pounds and trust me, it is dead weight!! After I get the damn thing up, I am like what do I do with it. I become a contortionist as I struggle to fit the thing back in the suit. Being somewhat successful, I gingerly finish my swim. As I go back thru Chris' office, I realized both forms are up to my neck, so my flippers become a fan in my front and I am sure he thought there was vodka in the pool as I hurried myself by him! I think I will stick to being flat in the pool for the next few days and order a suit for when I can swim after radiation.
 
I start radiation on Monday. They will do a dry run. Tuesday I get my port taken out (yeah no more chemo) and the official bell rings for radiation to being 5 days a week for 6.5 weeks. I know it won't be as bad as chemo....just tiring, but I have my two buddies as home that will keep me on the straight and narrow. The one in college better be on the straight and narrow too!!!!!
 
Thanks for your continued support. As my friend Melinda says, this starts the downhill. Phase 3 begins to just make sure no one wanted to stick around for a while. We got this thing per Matt!
 
Please put my Mother in your prayers. She has had a heart attack and a stent put in. She is back home and doing great, but I know many of you met her and she would love the prayers you send. I told her she was trying to steal the spotlight from me!! We know it is all about me.
 
I will keep you posted on how I am doing. Thanks again. Go Hawks and welcome back Kam!

]]>Wed, 09 Sep 2015 16:58:54 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/move-over-giseleI believe every fall, Sports Illustrated gets all the hot models and takes them to exotic places for their swimsuit edition. I was so happy that Tuesday, Dr. Buchanan released me to the pool. Yes, I will be going with Cheatey Tom's wife to Tahiti or some great place for a photo shoot as long as I can get back for radiation! As I donned my bathing suit yesterday, I was awed by the sight....As Emily said to me, Mom that is just pitiful!!! Just a step, friends. It will be adjusted in the future!!!!

So I am good to go and it was great swimming and getting a little exercise in my life. I started wearing makeup again, although those lashes are small, and my bunny fuzz hair is coming in fast. I followed up with pool time by announcing at Girl's High School swimming time trials and then had to go to bed. Not a lot of stamina here. About the time I will be back in decent shape, I will be pool restricted because of radiation. It is nice, however, to be a little on track for a while.

We are adjusting well as a family. Emily is back into school as a senior and Matt has a breather from being the queen and king of the castle! Nick is adjusting to a new university and Smookie is just glad that things are returning to a more normal state. The icing on the cake is that the grass is green, the sun is out and not too hot and football starts this weekend.
Thanks to all of you for helping me get to this point!

So tattooing begins next week and the following week we start radiation. I am looking forward to getting past this chapter. I know that it will be easier and it will be about the time SI swimsuit issue hits the stands. My public awaits!

Happy fall, football and here is to good friends!!

Jill
]]>Sun, 30 Aug 2015 18:08:37 GMThttp://www.jotsfromjill.com/blog/et-phone-homeI am adjusting to life with less on top to say the least.  I think I resemble ET and am waiting for a call to star in one of Steven's newest flicks.  The good news is that the drains are out and I even caught a few winks on my side last night. I wouldn't say that I am in pain, just uncomfortable. I am praying that in time, that will lessen and I can resume some "normal" activities.

Tomorrow I have another follow up appointment with the surgeon and then on to physical therapy. My range of motion is good so I am looking forward to seeing what little tricks they have in store for me. I am still doing my once around the block walk and have progressed to a point where I don't have to come back and immediately take a nap!!

Emily and Matt are on a college trip tomorrow and will be gone for three days. This is my first time staying alone and I am looking forward to see how far I can push my independence. Luckily for me, so many of you live near by if I need you!! I think Smookie and I will be just fine.

I am starting to think about what clothes I will wear in the coming year, will my hair ever be the same and when will the toenails come back!  Vanity taking over must be a good sign. No prosthesis until after Sept 24 when I get released by the surgeon, so I am hoping for warm weather to stay in summer tops until then!!

I get my radiation tattoos on Sept 15. I wanted to give my brother in law Ed a run for his money. Wonder if I can have the state of Texas as my starting point!! I never thought of myself as a body art queen but who knows!

So we move forward. I am taking a break from the blog until after my tattoo appointment so don't think I have disappeared with some biker gang somewhere. Or, Hollywood might have me tied up! Fall is in the air, school is starting and I am halfway there!!! Life is good.

Kisses, hugs and go Hawks!

Jill
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